Word of the Week (WOTW) #1 - LOVE



 Last week I started something new.  "Word of the Week". Once a week I will be picking a card (from 72 of them) from my "Angel Cards" and I will be putting my focus on the word that is printed on the card.  I will then be blogging about my experiences that happened during the week.

Before choosing the card last Sunday, I set my intention on Self-Love for the week.  I closed my eyes, put my hand through the cards and pulled out the card that "felt right".  I looked at it and laughed...I choose the card "Love". 

Love! Hmmm...what a perfect word.

I did a few things during the week that I thought were "self-loving".  I decided to have a mantra running through the background of my week..."I love myself.  I love my life."  I said that as much as I could remember to say it.  I passed by mirrors and I told myself that I loved myself.  It felt a little odd to do it, a little silly.  It made me smile sometimes and I also experienced feelings of great sadness.  I just kept saying it.  I kept smiling at myself in the mirror.  Sometimes I kept repeating the word "Love" over and over.  That helped me to stay focussed in the moment. To remind me to love whatever I was doing and everyone who was around me.

I asked myself questions like these whenever I was doing something (when I remembered!)..."Is this what loving yourself looks like?  Does this feel good to me??  What would you like to do instead??  Are these loving thoughts, actions, words and behaviours to yourself or to others??"  Sometimes I stopped what I was doing because it wasn't very loving and sometimes I didn't stop.  But, I am happy that I am asking myself these questions. That an awareness has started.  It is the first step.

I rediscovered the joy of reading books for pleasure.  For a few years now I mostly read self help books.  I thought that I should only read something that would "expand" me.  However, I wanted nothing more then to curl up with a book and read just for the sheer pleasure of it.  So that is what I did this week...a lot!

I am consulting with someone about my health. She is helping me with a nutrition plan and a cleansing program.  I have been abusing my body with food for most of my life with my eating disorders.  I have been anorexic, bulimic and I am still a compulsive eater.  Forms of self-hatred.  My body needs a full clean out.  I see that loving myself is loving all of me.  And the abuse I have done to my body is just a symptom of something deeper.  My body is my instrument.  It is dirty because of the food and thoughts I have been binging on for years.  I know there is a correlation between food and emotions.  I am looking forward to balancing and cleaning out my emotions along with my physical body.   I went to "Body Worlds" at Science World (an exhibition of real bodies donated and preserved by a process call Plastination) yesterday and I have a whole new appreciation for this most miraculous machine I call my body.  I saw a great quote that was part of the show......"Your body is the harp of your soul. And is it yours to bring forth sweet music from it or confused sounds." -Khalil Gibran
I am ready to make sweet music!

Two times a day I am doing a mediation/healing exercise. 

I have been exercising every day.

I have been writing 5 successes for the day and 5 things I am grateful for before going to bed.

I am praying.  I am not religious.  I consider myself spiritual.  I do believe there is a higher power, a GOD (Good Orderly Direction), an all knowing energy that watches over everything.  I have been asking to see a different view, a new perspective, an expansion of my mind and heart, and healings.  I am tired of thinking that I know best.  I am tired of banging my head against the wall and feeling like I am not moving forward.  Going in the same circles again and again and again. So, my intention is to let go.  To Trust.  To Surrender.

I have been doing a lot of crying. 

I have been listening to Marianne Williamson book "A Return to Love" on CD in my car.  It is a wonderful reminder of what life is all about.

I have been a recluse this week.  I haven't wanted to be social.  I have wanted to be alone.  I have been coming home from work, putting on my pjs, having a nap, then getting up and cooking dinner, watching a wee bit of tv wrapped in a blanket with the fireplace on, and then curling up in bed with a book and then going to sleep at about 930.  It is normal for me to want to cocoon myself at this time of year.  I feel like a caterpillar in its chrysalis.  I just want to be cozy.  And alone.

The one day I was feeling a little social (last Monday), I went to Starbucks with a book and just read for a couple of hours.  I had a lady ask if it was ok to sit with me.  I said sure without really making eye contact.  I read for a bit more, looking up once in a while to watch the people walk by and to look at the sun and the ocean that were just outside the windows.  I looked at the lady sitting across me, and asked myself if it was very loving to sit here and "ignore" her??  I felt rude.  So I starting talking with her.  We talked for over 1.5 hours!  Fascinating woman!  She is 91 years old.  Her name is Greta.  I asked her what the secret is for a long and healthy life.  She said it is keeping active and being social.  She swims 4 times a week and comes to Starbucks everyday to mingle with new people and old friends.  The stories she told from her past!  The advice she gave from all her lessons in life!  It was a remarkable conversation.  I hadn't stopped to ask myself if I was being loving in that moment, I would have missed a wonderful connection with a beautiful, inspiring human being.

That has been my week...focussing on LOVE.  A roller coaster of emotions and experiences.  A willingness to accept all of me.  To love all of me.  An opening to see my greatness, my light, and my love...and love from and for others.

I have chosen to have the intention for the rest of this year on ME...on SELF-LOVE...on loving myself.  I feel a bit selfish focussing on me, putting all my energy on myself.  But I have come to the conclusion that if I do not love myself, then I cannot love others fully or feel other people's love.  If I do not accept myself (all of me including my "faults"), then I cannot accept others fully.  If I cannot see my light and shine it into the world, then I am blind to the light of others. 

I have picked a card to focus on for this week...EXPECTANCY.
In the book it says - Your attitude towards the present builds your experience for the future.  Hold a positive outlook.  Stay miracle-minded and open to surprises!!

Oh boy!!!  Sounds exciting!!  What will your week look like if you stay miracle-minded and open to surprises??!!  Have a fun expecting week!