Hi. Thanks for coming back.
Creativity was last weeks word.
"Life is a creative process with many possibilities. Move beyond any preconceived thought, feelings and beliefs and engage with your unique expression now".
I didn't feel very creative this week. Actually, I didn't create being creative. I was hiding out.
What I did do was my homework from my career coach. The homework was to write down all the complaints about myself. When I actually sat down to do it (and I REALLY didn't want to do it) they came pretty easy. I have a lot of complaints about myself and life. All my complaints boil down to 3 major ones- I shouldn't be this way, Life shouldn't be this way, Others shouldn't be this way.
Wow! There are a lot of "shouldn't s" in there. I am understanding that living much of my life in my complaints is robbing me of so much life and energy. I am actually missing the present moment. I am missing possibility and love in every moment. I am robbing myself of my well being (I eat/binge, I sleep and hibernate, I am sick a lot); self expression (I am scared to ask for what I want, I become small and try to become invisible and I worry about what others think); love (I have little self love and self acceptance, no romantic relationship); affinity (I am missing a liking/love for life and what is actually happening in my life); fulfillment/satisfaction (I am often unhappy, I see what is missing instead of what I have).
Thinking that what is actually happening in the moment/situation is wrong and shouldn't be happening; or thinking that the other people shouldn't be doing/saying what they are doing/saying; or that I shouldn't be thinking/doing/being/feeling who/what I am in the moment and wishing I was different is so destructive. And it keeps me in a creative pattern of being frustrated, angry, closed down, small, pissed off, sad, f*@# you, walls up, giving up, pulling away, attacking, temper tantrums, righteous, victim, martyrdom, hopeless and longing. I keep creating these feelings and actions whenever I am thinking a "shouldn't".
So, I have been very creative this week and for my whole life! I have created unconscious patterns of darkness and make wrong. But now I see this. Now when I can catch myself thinking a "shouldn't" I can then choose something else. Something more peaceful, accepting and loving. I can then create consciously. Cause either way I am creating!! I would much rather create light, love and possibility! What about you?
The word for next week is *****AUTHENTICITY*****
"Add your unique ingredients to the mix. Be real. Express yourself. Uncloak your originality and manifest your pure potential."
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